A May of Rediscovered Hobbies

After an April of gratitude, I decided that I should make time to have more fun. I hadn't belly danced in years, painted in months, done yoga in months, read a book in who knows how long, and so on. I would look back at the prior week and wonder where did the time go and what had I done. Where was all of my time going? Was I scrolling through social media to waste time that much? Now is as good as a time as any.

Finding a weekly belly dance class was the first on my list.

Google is a wonderful tool through which I found several options for classes around town. After messaging some to see if they were still holding classes, I decided to go to one in central El Paso run by a mother and daughter that is every Saturday at 11AM. It was exactly the sort of playtime, female- camaraderie, and community that I had desired, so I have been going ever since. Actually, the other day we even had an Egyptian drummer come into class and play for us. It was awesome.

Next on my list was to start reading.

I ended up reading several books over the month and am still working on Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

I originally planned on adding more back into my life, but making the time to read and dance was more than enough to fill the time. Even so, I felt much more engaged in my regular life and felt as though I had more to talk with my husband about. Without hobbies there isn’t much else to talk about after the “How was your day, honey?”

My advice is to find something (not a bunch of different things) and to do it intentionally. Make time for you.

An April of Gratitude

Originally I was not sure if I should post my idea about a theme for every month when I had the idea back in April. At the time I was stressing more than I should on paying off the credit card within the year timeline before the interest rate skyrocketed. To counteract the self-made stress, I decided that April 2017 should be a month of gratitude. The idea came to me when I took a candle-lit bath and used a pumpkin spice candle I had found around my favorite time of year when absolutely everything has pumpkin in it. On the glass it says, " There is always something to be grateful for."

My little orange candle was right.

At the end of April, I felt at ease and physically lighter (as odd as that sounds). I had put together a plan to have the credit card paid off by the end of May and that took a huge load off my shoulders, but also the mindset of gratitude kept me noticing more and more that I was blessed with.

There would be moments where I would actually get emotional about it, embarrassingly enough. I would be sitting there and then it would hit me.

I have a job... and I like it.

No more working at the Chinese restaurant on my feet for five to ten hours a day, repeating the menu over and over, and having to be nice to people that were not always happy. I have a steady income that I can rely on at a job that I enjoy. I have not truly enjoyed my job since I worked at a hot yoga studio when I was a senior in college.

My family loves me.

Since moving out of my mother's house during and after college, our relationship has gotten so much better. She has become one of the few people I keep in touch with.

I have a loving and supportive spouse.

No relationship is perfect, but we have always done our best for each other. We make the effort to talk out problems and make time to spend together.

My body is healthy and capable.

My feet are the foundation that help me stand and move. My legs are strong enough to not just stand, but also to walk, jog, sprint, and dance. My torso holds most of the important internal organs that allow me to eat, breathe, and live my life without much thought. My back is strong and flexible enough to allow me to do my favorite things. My arms are strong enough to carry things, but also gentle enough to cradle things that I love. My hands are not calloused because I am blessed to work indoors where hard labor is not required. I am able to see the beautiful sunrise every morning. I am able to hear the words of my loved ones and the obnoxious whining of my dogs when they have to pee in the morning. I am able to smell the scent of brewing coffee, of nature, and of dinner as I make it. I am able to taste wonderful food and coffee every day.

These are only a few of my epiphanies. We are so lucky to be alive on this beautiful planet. I want to continue this mindset for the rest of my life. Imagine taking the thought, "My house is so dirty," to "While it is a bit messy in here, I have a roof over my head, a table to eat at, and a bed to sleep in." Can you imagine just how much our worlds would change?

When The Worst Happens

 If you are having a bad day, enjoy some cat pictures then go ahead and read something else.

These are my babies, Merlin (bottom) and Maggie Mae (top). 

They are the cutest cats on the planet. I'm super not biased. 

Obviously.

☆☆☆☆☆

This part of the post is for me.

On May 4, 2017, I lost my babies in one of the worst ways imaginable. I miss them every day and it hasn't gotten easier yet. Apparently that comes with time. I'm writing this in mid-July, but decided to back date it, so that it fits in chronologically. It also why I tried to implement more fun in my life in May. I'm not going to lie that it fixed everything, but getting out of the house definitely helped.

Something that helped was how amazing my husband was through everything. He cleaned up the terrible scene and placed them in a box before I got home so I wouldn't have to see. He held me as I cried and held my hand when we took them to be cremated. They now sit on the windowsill above the kitchen sink next to my aloe vera plant.

Merlin and Maggie Mae were one of the best pieces of my life.

Losing them took a piece of me with them. While at the shelter, I saw two kittens named Dawn and Dusk with similar markings which really hit home for me. They will always be a part of my life and in my heart.

When the worst happens, its alright to lean on the people around you. You are not alone.