Good morning!
I know I'm not the only one who falls for this feeling of being behind in life even when intellectually I know the idea is silly. A lot of the feeling is based in our expectations of ourselves, regardless of how achievable they actually are. I put lots of pressure on myself to keep moving forward, but overwhelm myself with the fast pace of trying to do something more and get out of my current situation. Sometimes it's hard to keep my eyes off of the people around me and compare myself only to my younger self.
It also does not help that I'm very unhappy in my current job at a Chinese restaurant, but can't leave because I need the money and we will likely be moving in the near future. I'm having a very difficult time meeting their expectations for how I should act. While I believe good customer service is of the utmost importance, my bosses believes it's all about speed. Due to their beliefs in how a business should run, their standards for certain foods, mainly the very popular dishes, has gone way down so that they can make them faster. By their standards, I talk to the customers too much. Sometimes I do agree with that sentiment, but I know it's because I don't have time to spend with friends or my husband much outside of work. That is something I do need to work on. However, answering customer's questions and giving recommendations if they ask or if it seems like the need it should be an integral part of my job, not what i get criticized for regularly. I hate being told I'm too nice when I am giving my all to trying to keep people coming back.
In an effort to see the silver lining, I have to focus on the many lessons I have learned on how not to run a business and what standards I should look for in my next job. Also today is the day off for Boss #2, Boss #1's baby momma, so working all day today should go a lot smoother and I can keep trying not to talk to people without having her being passive aggressive at me all day (because she blames me for her giving a customer the wrong take-out bag of food yesterday and because Boss #1 had me be shift manager for a couple months until she through a fit). I have a job though. My daily mantra is "Take a deep breath. I'm so grateful that I have a job."
Seeing friends at comparatively better or more prestigious jobs is difficult for me not to get down on myself about. I just really want a job that I dread going to.
