Airplanes & Expectations

Let's talk about airplanes. How amazing is it that we no longer have to drive hours upon hours to get somewhere? For a bit more money we can fly around 500 miles an hour and get where we are going in a fraction of the time.

Think about it. Your expectations will directly influence your perspective. My husband and I could have spent all day in the car driving across Texas to go see family, but instead we arrived at the airport at 6:00am for our 6:30am flight that arrives at 9:30am. Our 11 hour road trip just became maybe 3 hours with 1 hour of that us changing time zones because Texas is actually that wide.

One of these moments that I remember pretty distinctly was when I moved near Tokyo, Japan to study abroad for a semester. As a USian, as one of my professors called Americans, I was so used to driving everywhere I needed to go. Once in Japan that became riding the trains with everyone else.

At first I lamented the loss of having my own personal air conditioning blowing cold air straight in my face. With so many people riding public transportation, the body heat could get pretty warm despite the overhead vents. Having so many people in your personal space bubble was fully expected, but still hard to get used to. I think from riding the trains so much my bubble has significantly shrunken from what it used to be. Now I'm the awkward person that will fit myself into that tiny bit of space on a crowded elevator with my face a couple inches from the wall with the control panel.

As I got used to not having a whole car to myself and had to share space with other commuters, it dawned on me that I could do anything with that time. When you drive you have to give all of your attention to the act of driving. When you ride public transportation, the only thing you have to do is pay attention to the stops so that you get off at the correct one. Otherwise, you can do whatever you want within reason. It wasn't unusual to see people nap, read a book or manga, study flashcards, or talk quietly with friends. As someone who loves to read, a part of me didn't want to return to the states.

When I went to Japan, I knew that trains were the primary means of transportation. I had seen the videos of white gloved police men pushing in hoards of passengers that were not fitting inside. I never experienced that exactly, but people definitely pushed in close. Technically, they backed in close with bags pressed to their chests. Going in I fully expected the close quarters, so it made it easier to appreciate the trains for what they did have to offer: Time.

 The same luxury of time comes back into play when you take a ride on an airplane. I fully expected to drive across Texas, but after realizing that we would then have literally no time to visit with loved ones we decided to go this route. If you only have 2 full days then a day of travel in each direction does not work. It's only worth it if the quality time you get is more than you are spending traveling.

With different expectations you look at the world a bit different. When I pulled the window screen up to block the sun while my husband tried to nap, the bottom half was gone. Across the aisle we could confirm that indeed there was supposed to be more plastic. Instead of getting upset that there should have been a full screen and making a scene, I laughed pretty hard at the absurdity which made the guy across the aisle look up. He cracked up when he figured out why I was laughing without having to hear a thing other than the music playing through his headphones.

Life is good. It's ok to laugh when things "go wrong."

An April of Gratitude

Originally I was not sure if I should post my idea about a theme for every month when I had the idea back in April. At the time I was stressing more than I should on paying off the credit card within the year timeline before the interest rate skyrocketed. To counteract the self-made stress, I decided that April 2017 should be a month of gratitude. The idea came to me when I took a candle-lit bath and used a pumpkin spice candle I had found around my favorite time of year when absolutely everything has pumpkin in it. On the glass it says, " There is always something to be grateful for."

My little orange candle was right.

At the end of April, I felt at ease and physically lighter (as odd as that sounds). I had put together a plan to have the credit card paid off by the end of May and that took a huge load off my shoulders, but also the mindset of gratitude kept me noticing more and more that I was blessed with.

There would be moments where I would actually get emotional about it, embarrassingly enough. I would be sitting there and then it would hit me.

I have a job... and I like it.

No more working at the Chinese restaurant on my feet for five to ten hours a day, repeating the menu over and over, and having to be nice to people that were not always happy. I have a steady income that I can rely on at a job that I enjoy. I have not truly enjoyed my job since I worked at a hot yoga studio when I was a senior in college.

My family loves me.

Since moving out of my mother's house during and after college, our relationship has gotten so much better. She has become one of the few people I keep in touch with.

I have a loving and supportive spouse.

No relationship is perfect, but we have always done our best for each other. We make the effort to talk out problems and make time to spend together.

My body is healthy and capable.

My feet are the foundation that help me stand and move. My legs are strong enough to not just stand, but also to walk, jog, sprint, and dance. My torso holds most of the important internal organs that allow me to eat, breathe, and live my life without much thought. My back is strong and flexible enough to allow me to do my favorite things. My arms are strong enough to carry things, but also gentle enough to cradle things that I love. My hands are not calloused because I am blessed to work indoors where hard labor is not required. I am able to see the beautiful sunrise every morning. I am able to hear the words of my loved ones and the obnoxious whining of my dogs when they have to pee in the morning. I am able to smell the scent of brewing coffee, of nature, and of dinner as I make it. I am able to taste wonderful food and coffee every day.

These are only a few of my epiphanies. We are so lucky to be alive on this beautiful planet. I want to continue this mindset for the rest of my life. Imagine taking the thought, "My house is so dirty," to "While it is a bit messy in here, I have a roof over my head, a table to eat at, and a bed to sleep in." Can you imagine just how much our worlds would change?

Discovering My Mission

Originally, I started this blog for selfish reasons, by which I mean the electronic equivalent to an electronic journal. Now that I have started reading for fun again, I have noticed a theme in the content I truly enjoy. They tend to be self-help through someone's personal narrative. A "How To Declutter" book wouldn't be as interesting and meaningful as someone's story in response to utilizing said book to declutter their home and life.

That said, I have not been blogging much lately because I feel rather stuck as of lately. I feel like I need some sort of life change, but I'm not sure what. It would be awesome to learn a real trade or skill and not just soft skills that can apply anywhere. I'm not unhappy working as a cashier at a Chinese restaurant, but this is not a career and after second guessing my calling in Human Resources, it has me feeling lost.

What do I do when I feel lost or unhappy? I like to create.

One of my favorite methods of creation is writing. There is something really freeing about just writing without any idea where you are going. I will often write about the daily stuff (what I'm feeling, ideas I have, wants and desires, conversations I have had recently, and so on). There is a tiny book called The Daily Bones (I believe) that inspired me to do so. I don't journal every day, but I do when I need something back from it.

Today I felt like writing in my other "journal" and as I lay in bed unable to fall back asleep, I thought about what sort of changes I have been wanting. I guess I'm unhappy, but I don't really feel that way. The Universe seems to be telling me it's about time to change something.

One of my first thoughts went back to a conversation I had with a friend from college about what sort of business would I open if money was no object, but if I was to ever open a spa I would be no help for the real work because I don't know how to do hair, skin, nails, eyelash extensions, massage therapy, chiropractic... nothing. I have "soft skills" and could learn how to run the business and take care of my employees, but I would never be able to cover for one of them if they got sick or had an emergency. Opening a business right now would not be a good idea then.

Could I make money off of my blog? Maybe one day, but that's not the point.

Ok, so back to the drawing board AKA a small teal notebook with big white poke-dots and pink binding. Without looking through the previous pages of ideas, I wrote about what I aim to do every day which is essentially to "make today a happy day." I'm borrowing the wording from one of my favorite hoodies that I found at the UNIQLO near my host family's house when I was studying abroad in Japan. It's a pastel yellow with a picture of Mr. Happy surrounded by the words "Today is a Happy Day." Something I have learned is that if it makes me smile, it will often continue to do so long afterwards. Side note, I'm currently wearing it because my house is freezing cold.

Could my happiness journey be my schtick? Why not?

Lauren Singer's Trash Is For Tossers focuses on living a zero waste lifestyle, Simon's and Martina's Eat Your Kimchi (now also Eat Your Sushi) focuses on food and traveling adventures in Korea (and now Japan), Tanja's Rose Shock (AKA @RoseShock) focuses on creative makeup and cosplay, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus write about intentional living and minimalism at TheMinimalists.com, and and the list goes on. You can literally blog about anything, but it appears that you must have a cohesive theme of focus.

Would anyone even be interested in my ideas about living happier and with intention? There only has to be one person.

Everyone should be living a life in line with their personal values. Lauren is a perfect example of this and she really inspires me to live intentionally. By "living intentionally" I mean that you live a life that aligns with what is important to you. The Minimalists have an awesome podcast on the subject.

I haven't quite figured the wording yet, but I make an effort to live my life is by enjoying the little things, by making today a happy day, by using and doing things that make me smile, by making an effort to appreciate how blessed I am, and by living in a way that aligns with who I am and who I strive to be.

I know that happiness is internal. It does not come from external sources, as awesome as that would be theoretically. It's definitely a challenge sometimes to keep negative external influences from affecting my mood, but there are so many more positive things going on that I feel my quality of life has gotten so much better. Since graduating college, I stopped taking antidepressants, was exercising regularly (I have since fallen off the bandwagon and need to get back on), talked to family and friends regularly, ate healthier, and overall these made me feel better.

Mental health, Happiness, and Intentional Living are so important.

If my story helps even one person, then I have done my job.

(Updated: August 12, 2017)