I started a new job in November 2018 and am still going strong. After the 3 month trial period, I became permanent in March 2019. I signed up for what insurance I could afford (not very much) and that officially began on the1st of June. Yay! My only big complaint is that I can't get any overtime, which is making money really tight on my end. Mike has a good chunk of money from his tax return, but I consider that as his personal money (especially since he used all of his separation money from the military to cover expenses when we moved back to Houston from El Paso. The reason for this lack of overtime rolls into another complaint, which I will simplify to someone not doing their job. I see now that they are working on the backlog as well as new issues that are arising often, but it has trickled all the way down to my level and that's a big problem.
A couple of months ago, I applied for the wellness program at work and actually got in. It's been an interesting experience to go Whole Food, Plant Based (WFPB). I'm 2 months in and now having difficulty sticking with it, cooking at home (like I had been), avoiding the sweets, and remembering why I wanted to change in the first place. I still take the stairs in the morning all the way up to the 6th floor, but I haven't been doing my 2 minute morning yoga. I'm going to sit down sometime here soon and flesh out why I want to get healthier and change my life for the better. Motivation is a good starting point, but it doesn't last so I have to make it all habit.
It's summer time here and its so hot outside. I'm glad I invested in a new sunscreen for my face from Biore, and I still use the Neutrogena one I have stock-piled. Getting on top of my skincare again is one of the methods in which I have been trying to take care of myself better. I'm 25 and it's time to start being conscious of my skin and start the anti-aging process in order to prevent it as opposed to attempting ti fix it later. However, I do have 3 pretty deep wrinkles on my forehead from scrunching up my face, usually when it's too bright, so I really want to see what options are out there to correct it.
One thing I'm really proud of is that I finally feel really on top of my depression. I notice the physical sensations of that metaphorical dark cloud coming over, and it usually comes up if i have forgotten to take my medication 1 or 2 days in a row. I do work on it on other ways, but for now medication has been a wonderful thing for my life. Medication is obviously the last option one should consider, but in hindsight I wish I would have been more knowledgable about the symptoms of depression and therefore would have considered it earlier. Maybe certain parts of my life would have gone a heck of a lot smoother and certain relationships would have been better. Now that I know more of the symptoms I can sometimes catch it in other people. Since starting medication, the overwhelming feeling of being a burden is gone and the word burden has never come out of my mouth (in reference to myself). Unfortunately, I hear those dreaded words, "I don't want to be a burden" or "I feel like a burden to you" come out of the mouths of people I care about. What sucks even more is that one of those people outright denies it and refuses to consider taking steps that would help immensely (visiting a counselor to talk and or medication). There's a part of me that sees it as them not wanting to help themselves or better themselves and that they would rather wallow in it. There's real truth in the saying, "You cant hep someone that won't help themselves."
I'm also really proud of my husband and that our relationship has definitely gotten better, which I attribute to him starting to learn about politics (of all things). He wanted to be more knowledgable and has since started learning about it of his own volition. This has transformed into many in depth conversations on controversial topics, him being more engaged, and into a mutual respect of ideas and ways of doing things. We have always respected each other's opinions, but now it's obvious to us that respect is probably the biggest reason our relationship works so well, despite how different we are. My cousin casually brought up that she doesn't understand how our relationship works, and for the longest time we didn't either and just didn't question it. We have vastly different eating habits, sleeping habits, preferences, etc. When I used to think into it too much, I would get really disheartened in all honesty. My current working theory is that I believe most of the commonality is in our values themselves. We can value the same thing, but take different paths to getting there.
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