Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project"

I just finished reading Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" and it's definitely a keeper. After being introduced to the minimalist lifestyle aka intentional living, I purged many things from my life including books. While I'm still in the middle of the purging process, I know have a direction to go in. Before I would just add more to an empty space that I had created, but now I have learned that everything should have a home. If I believe that I will read it again and get something out of it, then I should keep it. If it served it's purpose then it's time for it to go to a new home like a library, school, or Half Price Books (where I originally purchased this book).

Included in the newer version of "The Happiness Project" is an excerpt from her next book, "Better Than Before." I have to say that I'm definitely interested in her story when it comes to habits. I enjoy the way she writes; it feels like a combination of having a conversation with a friend and someone's personal journal.

The main reasons that this book originally jumped out at me was that (1) it had my favorite color, yellow, juxtaposed with a light blue sky over the tops of some New York City apartments, and  (2) it sounded vaguely related to my current project. I literally came across this book while in the midst of my own personal happiness project, albeit a less organized version. They werent vaguely similar as I originally thought. They were one in the same, but with a different person with different life.

Starting a couple months ago, I picked a theme of something to focus on. In April it was to be more grateful, in May it was to rediscover hobbies and have more fun, in June I focused on money, June bled into July in a less stressful manner with more money mindfulness and budgeting, and right now in August I wanted to work on focus on what's important.

I love Gretchen's "Secrets of Adulthood," "Four Splendid Truths," "Happiness Project Manifesto," and all the little maxims she discovered and actually wrote down. Reading her story, like with the works of The Minimalists and Elizabeth Gilbert, it made me think about my life, how I feel, what I want out of life, and gave me a direction to start moving. One of her "Secrets of Adulthood" is "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." This book, and her next one for that matter, feels like the embodiment of this. I hope she continues to write and publish works for years to come.

Airplanes & Expectations

Let's talk about airplanes. How amazing is it that we no longer have to drive hours upon hours to get somewhere? For a bit more money we can fly around 500 miles an hour and get where we are going in a fraction of the time.

Think about it. Your expectations will directly influence your perspective. My husband and I could have spent all day in the car driving across Texas to go see family, but instead we arrived at the airport at 6:00am for our 6:30am flight that arrives at 9:30am. Our 11 hour road trip just became maybe 3 hours with 1 hour of that us changing time zones because Texas is actually that wide.

One of these moments that I remember pretty distinctly was when I moved near Tokyo, Japan to study abroad for a semester. As a USian, as one of my professors called Americans, I was so used to driving everywhere I needed to go. Once in Japan that became riding the trains with everyone else.

At first I lamented the loss of having my own personal air conditioning blowing cold air straight in my face. With so many people riding public transportation, the body heat could get pretty warm despite the overhead vents. Having so many people in your personal space bubble was fully expected, but still hard to get used to. I think from riding the trains so much my bubble has significantly shrunken from what it used to be. Now I'm the awkward person that will fit myself into that tiny bit of space on a crowded elevator with my face a couple inches from the wall with the control panel.

As I got used to not having a whole car to myself and had to share space with other commuters, it dawned on me that I could do anything with that time. When you drive you have to give all of your attention to the act of driving. When you ride public transportation, the only thing you have to do is pay attention to the stops so that you get off at the correct one. Otherwise, you can do whatever you want within reason. It wasn't unusual to see people nap, read a book or manga, study flashcards, or talk quietly with friends. As someone who loves to read, a part of me didn't want to return to the states.

When I went to Japan, I knew that trains were the primary means of transportation. I had seen the videos of white gloved police men pushing in hoards of passengers that were not fitting inside. I never experienced that exactly, but people definitely pushed in close. Technically, they backed in close with bags pressed to their chests. Going in I fully expected the close quarters, so it made it easier to appreciate the trains for what they did have to offer: Time.

 The same luxury of time comes back into play when you take a ride on an airplane. I fully expected to drive across Texas, but after realizing that we would then have literally no time to visit with loved ones we decided to go this route. If you only have 2 full days then a day of travel in each direction does not work. It's only worth it if the quality time you get is more than you are spending traveling.

With different expectations you look at the world a bit different. When I pulled the window screen up to block the sun while my husband tried to nap, the bottom half was gone. Across the aisle we could confirm that indeed there was supposed to be more plastic. Instead of getting upset that there should have been a full screen and making a scene, I laughed pretty hard at the absurdity which made the guy across the aisle look up. He cracked up when he figured out why I was laughing without having to hear a thing other than the music playing through his headphones.

Life is good. It's ok to laugh when things "go wrong."

Money On My Mind in June and July

After the last 2 months of focusing on implementing more pleasant things in my life, June became one of self-induced stress. I had a nightmare for the first time in a long time, I hadn't been as enthusiastic about much, and I started biting my nails again. After only a week into June, my motivation for this theme was weaning, but I knew that I needed to set some long-term financial goals, make a plan to reach those goals (including the math), stick to a budget, track where my money was going, and learn what I should be doing.

Before implementing a plan, I felt as though the focus on money was too much for me. Finance is still not my strong suit and I would much rather spend more time doing just about anything else, but I got better. What really helped the most was rediscovering Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, his free app called Every Dollar, The Minimalists’ blog post on financial freedom (there is also a related podcast), and The Financial Diet on YouTube. (See links below) These inspired me to start asking myself some surprisingly tough questions and be honest with myself.

"Where is my money going right now?" 

I used the previous month in the Every Dollar app to see what my budget would have looked like had I planned to spend my money the way it was spent. Ouch. I spent way more on eating out and on miscellaneous items than I would like to admit. I couldn't even be one hundred percent honest with my husband about what I was spending money on. 

"Are there better ways I could have spent it?"

For the actual month of July, I intentionally put each dollar somewhere using Ryan Nicodemus' “Need, Want, Like” system. I need to pay my bills and put money away in an emergency fund. I want to continue taking a weekly belly dance class. I like having extra money for food and random stuff. Figuring out what my priorities actually are was surprisingly challenging, but even more so was sticking to the budget I laid out. 

"Could I do something now that would greatly help my future-self?"

Dave Ramsey's 7 Baby Steps start off with putting away $1,000 into an emergency fund, so that when an emergency happens there isn't a financial crisis at the same time. The next step is to pay off your debts using the debt snowball. By paying off your smallest debts first, you get a feeling of achievement as you work on tackling the larger ones. For me, these included my fancy cell phone and credit card debt (that we used to pay for moving expenses). The 3rd Baby Step is to bump up your emergency fund to include three to six months worth of expenses. This would be great if you lost your job for example. The next is to invest in your retirement. If someone in their early twenties put away even a little bit today, with compound interest over the years it would greatly multiply. Steps 5, 6, and 7 don't quite apply to me since I don't have children to save college funds for, I don't have a mortgage since we rent, and I'm not financially ready to contribute beyond myself yet.

After talking with the financial advisor at my credit union, I decided to open a Roth IRA (aka retirement account paid post-taxes) once I got together my $1000 emergency fund. If all goes as planned, I will have the money by the end of the year and can open the account in January. I haven't talked about this with my husband yet since he thinks my emergency fund is a silly idea. I also did some math to see what it would cost me monthly to save up for a newer car over the next 5 years. Where my current budget stands, saving up for a car wouldn't be easy, but it would be doable. Future me would love to pay cash for a newer Toyota Corolla.

"What do I do when I want something, but it's not within the budget?"

As I learned more about my spending habits, I started wondering why I wanted certain things. New makeup is a good example of this. I have plenty of makeup, but I was watching YouTube makeup tutorials almost daily and wanting more. In an effort to combat this, I stopped wearing makeup most days, stopped watching makeup tutorials, and saved links to thinks I thought I wanted. The latter of these worked surprisingly well. I found that I didn’t have as strong as an impulse to buy things and didn’t feel as though I would miss out on it if I saved it somewhere. This lead to taking photos of things I found in person, which in turn led to an epiphany:

I don’t have to own it just because I like it…

While I know this journey isn’t over just because June is over, I did not expect this theme to overflow and mix well into July where I was trying to focus on Intentionality and Minimalism. Seeing as a theme of intentionality pertains to being intentional with your money, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised.

Hope y'all have an amazing week!

Links:
Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (ex: Videos)
Every Dollar app = EveryDollar.com 
The Minimalist's blog post on "Financial Freedom" and related podcast
The Financial Diet website and YouTube channel

PS. If you are young and just starting a line of credit like me, take Dave Ramsey's advice with a grain of salt. Think twice about cutting up your credit card. Instead use it to only pay bills that you know you have money for and already have to pay. I currently use mine for gasoline only.

One Palette Challenge: Too Faced PB&J

Since I'm not ready to post about my theme of personal finance for the month of June, enjoy an old post draft from early March when I gave myself a eyeshadow palette challenge! This palette is actually still my go-to. Looks #4 and #7 are both heavily based on my favorite color in the palette called Nuts About U (bottom right). I definitely challenge anyone who enjoys makeup to try limiting yourself to see how creative you can get. It's like making a capsule wardrobe for your cosmetics.

LOOK #1

LOOK #2

LOOK #3

LOOK #4

LOOK #5

LOOK #6

LOOK #7

Links:

Palette Photo from Temptalia.com

A May of Rediscovered Hobbies

After an April of gratitude, I decided that I should make time to have more fun. I hadn't belly danced in years, painted in months, done yoga in months, read a book in who knows how long, and so on. I would look back at the prior week and wonder where did the time go and what had I done. Where was all of my time going? Was I scrolling through social media to waste time that much? Now is as good as a time as any.

Finding a weekly belly dance class was the first on my list.

Google is a wonderful tool through which I found several options for classes around town. After messaging some to see if they were still holding classes, I decided to go to one in central El Paso run by a mother and daughter that is every Saturday at 11AM. It was exactly the sort of playtime, female- camaraderie, and community that I had desired, so I have been going ever since. Actually, the other day we even had an Egyptian drummer come into class and play for us. It was awesome.

Next on my list was to start reading.

I ended up reading several books over the month and am still working on Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

I originally planned on adding more back into my life, but making the time to read and dance was more than enough to fill the time. Even so, I felt much more engaged in my regular life and felt as though I had more to talk with my husband about. Without hobbies there isn’t much else to talk about after the “How was your day, honey?”

My advice is to find something (not a bunch of different things) and to do it intentionally. Make time for you.

An April of Gratitude

Originally I was not sure if I should post my idea about a theme for every month when I had the idea back in April. At the time I was stressing more than I should on paying off the credit card within the year timeline before the interest rate skyrocketed. To counteract the self-made stress, I decided that April 2017 should be a month of gratitude. The idea came to me when I took a candle-lit bath and used a pumpkin spice candle I had found around my favorite time of year when absolutely everything has pumpkin in it. On the glass it says, " There is always something to be grateful for."

My little orange candle was right.

At the end of April, I felt at ease and physically lighter (as odd as that sounds). I had put together a plan to have the credit card paid off by the end of May and that took a huge load off my shoulders, but also the mindset of gratitude kept me noticing more and more that I was blessed with.

There would be moments where I would actually get emotional about it, embarrassingly enough. I would be sitting there and then it would hit me.

I have a job... and I like it.

No more working at the Chinese restaurant on my feet for five to ten hours a day, repeating the menu over and over, and having to be nice to people that were not always happy. I have a steady income that I can rely on at a job that I enjoy. I have not truly enjoyed my job since I worked at a hot yoga studio when I was a senior in college.

My family loves me.

Since moving out of my mother's house during and after college, our relationship has gotten so much better. She has become one of the few people I keep in touch with.

I have a loving and supportive spouse.

No relationship is perfect, but we have always done our best for each other. We make the effort to talk out problems and make time to spend together.

My body is healthy and capable.

My feet are the foundation that help me stand and move. My legs are strong enough to not just stand, but also to walk, jog, sprint, and dance. My torso holds most of the important internal organs that allow me to eat, breathe, and live my life without much thought. My back is strong and flexible enough to allow me to do my favorite things. My arms are strong enough to carry things, but also gentle enough to cradle things that I love. My hands are not calloused because I am blessed to work indoors where hard labor is not required. I am able to see the beautiful sunrise every morning. I am able to hear the words of my loved ones and the obnoxious whining of my dogs when they have to pee in the morning. I am able to smell the scent of brewing coffee, of nature, and of dinner as I make it. I am able to taste wonderful food and coffee every day.

These are only a few of my epiphanies. We are so lucky to be alive on this beautiful planet. I want to continue this mindset for the rest of my life. Imagine taking the thought, "My house is so dirty," to "While it is a bit messy in here, I have a roof over my head, a table to eat at, and a bed to sleep in." Can you imagine just how much our worlds would change?

When The Worst Happens

 If you are having a bad day, enjoy some cat pictures then go ahead and read something else.

These are my babies, Merlin (bottom) and Maggie Mae (top). 

They are the cutest cats on the planet. I'm super not biased. 

Obviously.

☆☆☆☆☆

This part of the post is for me.

On May 4, 2017, I lost my babies in one of the worst ways imaginable. I miss them every day and it hasn't gotten easier yet. Apparently that comes with time. I'm writing this in mid-July, but decided to back date it, so that it fits in chronologically. It also why I tried to implement more fun in my life in May. I'm not going to lie that it fixed everything, but getting out of the house definitely helped.

Something that helped was how amazing my husband was through everything. He cleaned up the terrible scene and placed them in a box before I got home so I wouldn't have to see. He held me as I cried and held my hand when we took them to be cremated. They now sit on the windowsill above the kitchen sink next to my aloe vera plant.

Merlin and Maggie Mae were one of the best pieces of my life.

Losing them took a piece of me with them. While at the shelter, I saw two kittens named Dawn and Dusk with similar markings which really hit home for me. They will always be a part of my life and in my heart.

When the worst happens, its alright to lean on the people around you. You are not alone.